WITHDRAWAL OF TRUTH
This is David Taylor's Truth withdrawal paper.
Again, my frustration with the doctors.... frustration with OUR family doctor/clinic that I have trusted for so long. That I trusted when it was suggested that an antidepressant would be the best and most helpful thing for Honey. Sure, you can try counseling, the doctor said. Counseling might be most helpful in these early weeks before the Zoloft has a chance to "kick in".
Counseling WAS the answer, I see that now.
Zoloft only makes you need more Zoloft, and to get more you need to see the doctor... and the cycle continues. Pay money for the Zoloft and pay more money to get more Zoloft.
Counseling was where they helped Honey help herself. Helped her figure out fresh ways to handle stress and handle situations that made her feel sad. Counseling was where they helped Honey better learn how to be true to herself.... Zoloft just made her "false" almost. On Zoloft, Honey is NOT herself, no matter how true she tries to be... that Zoloft just creeps back in. Honey has done and said so many foreign things (foreign to the person she really is) while on Zoloft (and during the first withdrawal). When we talk about these things, she has NO IDEA why she said or did "that" (whatever it was).
Counseling, Doctor, should have been the ONLY thing you prescribed... but instead, you prescribed more sadness and also a whole bunch more detrimental things. You know, what I really wish the doctor would have said that day I brought my then 14 year old "Honey" in to talk about her feelings of sadness... I wish she would have said (reminded me of) that being a teen is HARD work, there are a lot of new hormones, emotions, experiences etc... life is HARD and teens are at a stage where they are experiementing with adulthood. What teens really need is a caring, loving adult who is not going to judge them, who is not going to be shocked by what they have to share, who is going to LISTEN and allow them to sort out their feelings/emotions in a safe, nonjudgmental environment. Encourage Honey to journal, maybe learn to meditate together, prayer, exercise... There is so much our family doctor COULD have said that would have done wonders, I feel to combat Honey's sadness. But it is not the way of the medical world... medicate, medicate, medicate.
It is hard to bring my kiddos to the doctor now, but at least I know now that I have a right to question their advice and seek other opinions, as doctors are NOT all knowing, nor are they all caring.
Showing posts with label antidepressant. Show all posts
Showing posts with label antidepressant. Show all posts
Saturday, February 10, 2007
Thursday, February 8, 2007
withdrawal symptoms called "return of depression" by doctor
Honey, my daughter was having extreme crying spells, seemed so anxious, unable to fall asleep or stay asleep once she finally did, unable to concentrate or focus on simple tasks, poor appetite and strange and vivid dreams and nightmares. She also later described what we now feel were panic attacks- especially in loud, visually stimulating environments (school, shopping malls). Her symptoms were *different* than the inital symptoms she experienced that led us to medical help. Sure, the symptoms *could* have been considered depression (until one sees the larger picture)
So, still as naive as ever about SSRI antidepressants, we returned to the doctor who originally prescribed Zoloft. The doctor asked Honey (my daughters psuedo name for this blog) about her symptoms, when they "returned" and thought it a good idea to restart the antidepressant. Honey started at 25mg, (though was prescribed 50mg/day) took her first dose that evening and by the next morning her symptoms had improved drastically. The drastic change (for the better) in Honey's symptoms shook me a bit. Antidepressants generally take a few weeks to provide relief of symptoms and 12 hours later, my daughter seemed like a new person. It made me think of a drug user, desperately trying to get a fix and finally.... relief when more of their drug of choice is found. Was my daughter somehow addicted to Zoloft (it is non-addictive so the drug information says!)? Did her body somehow *need* this drug? That was when my search for information began.
Though the crying spells became less frequent and less dramatic once back on the Zoloft, many of the other symptoms remained and the panic attacks became more dramatic.
I started gaining information-- I started to understand that Honey's current symptoms were most likely related to withdrawal rather than "depression". I also started to understand more about the effects of SSRI's on the human brain, emotions and inhibitions.
I also found a someone who had so much experience helping people get off of these medications and go forward to live a "normal" life. Without her, I am not sure where my daughter Honey would be.... mostlikely taking a lot more antidepressants with symptoms only getting worse.
We are still in the midst of a nightmare, but now feel we have the support that our doctor failed to give.
We are working to prepare Honey physically, mentally and spiritually to begin withdrawaling from Zoloft. I wanted to have a place to document the "journey" -- maybe only to have a record for my daughter later on? or maybe someone else will be encouraged or benefitted by her experience. I dont know, but I do know that I felt compelled to write.
It is a hard road, as a parent, to travel. Many nights I would wake from nightmares of suicide. I would hurry to Honey's room, half expecting to find her hanging in her closet or some other nightmare-- always thankful to find her (peacefully?) asleep.
I read of many horror stories of teens on antidepressants full of violence and tragic endings. I cant find yet, a story of a teen no longer using antidepressants with a happy ending. I hope to have one to share. As for now, I know that the hardest might be ahead of us. I constantly think of how much I want to take this trial away from her and wear it on my back instead. What a way to start your life.... brain already scrambled by a drug that was supposed to "help".
So, still as naive as ever about SSRI antidepressants, we returned to the doctor who originally prescribed Zoloft. The doctor asked Honey (my daughters psuedo name for this blog) about her symptoms, when they "returned" and thought it a good idea to restart the antidepressant. Honey started at 25mg, (though was prescribed 50mg/day) took her first dose that evening and by the next morning her symptoms had improved drastically. The drastic change (for the better) in Honey's symptoms shook me a bit. Antidepressants generally take a few weeks to provide relief of symptoms and 12 hours later, my daughter seemed like a new person. It made me think of a drug user, desperately trying to get a fix and finally.... relief when more of their drug of choice is found. Was my daughter somehow addicted to Zoloft (it is non-addictive so the drug information says!)? Did her body somehow *need* this drug? That was when my search for information began.
Though the crying spells became less frequent and less dramatic once back on the Zoloft, many of the other symptoms remained and the panic attacks became more dramatic.
I started gaining information-- I started to understand that Honey's current symptoms were most likely related to withdrawal rather than "depression". I also started to understand more about the effects of SSRI's on the human brain, emotions and inhibitions.
I also found a someone who had so much experience helping people get off of these medications and go forward to live a "normal" life. Without her, I am not sure where my daughter Honey would be.... mostlikely taking a lot more antidepressants with symptoms only getting worse.
We are still in the midst of a nightmare, but now feel we have the support that our doctor failed to give.
We are working to prepare Honey physically, mentally and spiritually to begin withdrawaling from Zoloft. I wanted to have a place to document the "journey" -- maybe only to have a record for my daughter later on? or maybe someone else will be encouraged or benefitted by her experience. I dont know, but I do know that I felt compelled to write.
It is a hard road, as a parent, to travel. Many nights I would wake from nightmares of suicide. I would hurry to Honey's room, half expecting to find her hanging in her closet or some other nightmare-- always thankful to find her (peacefully?) asleep.
I read of many horror stories of teens on antidepressants full of violence and tragic endings. I cant find yet, a story of a teen no longer using antidepressants with a happy ending. I hope to have one to share. As for now, I know that the hardest might be ahead of us. I constantly think of how much I want to take this trial away from her and wear it on my back instead. What a way to start your life.... brain already scrambled by a drug that was supposed to "help".
In the Beginning
Being a parent is challenging... each stage has its challenges and special joys. Being a mom to my children is a priviledge and an honor and I feel blessed beyond measure.
Being a teen is challenging as well. I remember the ups and downs I experienced years ago. I remember certain painful memories like they happened yesterday. When my daughter (I will call her Honey) came back from a retreat and said "I think I have depression", I had two opposing thoughts- "No, not my daughter!" and "Yes, I bet you do". I had seen the symptoms for a while... a general "blue" attitude, a struggle with school work, crying and crying, and several challenging situations and circumstances that we didn't have seem to have answers for or ways to cope with them.
We as consumers are bombarded with commercials (courtesy of the pharmaceutical companies) about depression, "chemical imbalances" in the brain, so when we experience emotion other than happiness or joy and tell our "doctor" about it, doctors are quick to prescribe an "antidepressant" (because they are bombarded by the pharmaceutical companies and the drug company claims of how wonderful the "new" antidepressants are).
So, my daughter and I (as good sheeple do) went to the doctor to get "help" with my daughter's symptoms. In 10 minutes my daughter was prescribed 50 mg of Zoloft/day. Zoloft has not been approved by the FDA to treat depression. The "doctor" reassured us that it is a gentle drug, not something one can become addicted to... and it will just "level you out". The doctor used a hand motion showing the ups and downs of "depression" (normal human emotion) and then a hand motion that was just a level wave of her hand to show how Zoloft would help "level out" Honey's emotions. Well, her emotions are not just leveled out... they are pretty much gone. She tends to react to much of life with a flat mood. While on the Zoloft, Honey did not experience those crying jags that worried us before.... but she doesn't experience much emotion at all. At least not in a normal way. I asked the "doctor" about counseling and she said "That would be fine, but I think she will really like the Zoloft" or something like that. So, instead of really taking the time to find out WHAT might have been causing Honey's depressive symptoms and taking the time to realize what she was experiencing was something that would have BENEFITTED from counseling, she thanked us for coming and let us know that we would need to check back in within the next couple weeks. NEVER did I hear about the increased risk for suicide, never did I hear about actual SSRI (Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors- a class of antidepressants) side effects (when I asked about side effects, I was told that Honey might experience an occasional headache or stomach ache, but these symptoms would go away once her body got "use to" the medication). How a body gets "use to" SSRI's is another story all together... but in short, your body just changes the structure of your BRAIN as a way of getting "use to" these medications. I think a lobotomy is another treatment that also changes the structure of the brain. Zoloft might be another word for lobotomy.... maybe we could call SSRI's a form of "chemical lobotomy". I had no idea when I filled that first prescription for Zoloft that my daughter could be changed for life-- when I look in the patient information I got, it doesn't mention that either.
Well, Honey started the Zoloft (50mg/day) January of 2006 and continued taking it until July of 2006 when we decided as a family that she seemed more grounded, had some great friends and some better coping skills. Honey was scheduled for a school sports physical so we talked to the doctor then about discontinuing the Zoloft. We were told to "wean off very slowly"... she likes to tell people to cut the dose in half for a few weeks and then take that half dose every other day for a few weeks and then stop taking the medication. I asked (yes, I had to ask) why the dosage should be decreased so slowly and the doctor said that Honey might experience some headaches or nausea. I asked if it would hurt to go a little slower and she said that would be fine, so Honey tapered off Zoloft in 6 weeks- 3 weeks at 25mg and 3 weeks at 25mg every other day and then she was "done". Done that is, until the withdrawal side effects showed up. Those withdrawal side effects are why SSRI's are some of the biggest selling drugs- we buy them not because we want to, but because we HAVE to. Will share in another post.
Being a teen is challenging as well. I remember the ups and downs I experienced years ago. I remember certain painful memories like they happened yesterday. When my daughter (I will call her Honey) came back from a retreat and said "I think I have depression", I had two opposing thoughts- "No, not my daughter!" and "Yes, I bet you do". I had seen the symptoms for a while... a general "blue" attitude, a struggle with school work, crying and crying, and several challenging situations and circumstances that we didn't have seem to have answers for or ways to cope with them.
We as consumers are bombarded with commercials (courtesy of the pharmaceutical companies) about depression, "chemical imbalances" in the brain, so when we experience emotion other than happiness or joy and tell our "doctor" about it, doctors are quick to prescribe an "antidepressant" (because they are bombarded by the pharmaceutical companies and the drug company claims of how wonderful the "new" antidepressants are).
So, my daughter and I (as good sheeple do) went to the doctor to get "help" with my daughter's symptoms. In 10 minutes my daughter was prescribed 50 mg of Zoloft/day. Zoloft has not been approved by the FDA to treat depression. The "doctor" reassured us that it is a gentle drug, not something one can become addicted to... and it will just "level you out". The doctor used a hand motion showing the ups and downs of "depression" (normal human emotion) and then a hand motion that was just a level wave of her hand to show how Zoloft would help "level out" Honey's emotions. Well, her emotions are not just leveled out... they are pretty much gone. She tends to react to much of life with a flat mood. While on the Zoloft, Honey did not experience those crying jags that worried us before.... but she doesn't experience much emotion at all. At least not in a normal way. I asked the "doctor" about counseling and she said "That would be fine, but I think she will really like the Zoloft" or something like that. So, instead of really taking the time to find out WHAT might have been causing Honey's depressive symptoms and taking the time to realize what she was experiencing was something that would have BENEFITTED from counseling, she thanked us for coming and let us know that we would need to check back in within the next couple weeks. NEVER did I hear about the increased risk for suicide, never did I hear about actual SSRI (Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors- a class of antidepressants) side effects (when I asked about side effects, I was told that Honey might experience an occasional headache or stomach ache, but these symptoms would go away once her body got "use to" the medication). How a body gets "use to" SSRI's is another story all together... but in short, your body just changes the structure of your BRAIN as a way of getting "use to" these medications. I think a lobotomy is another treatment that also changes the structure of the brain. Zoloft might be another word for lobotomy.... maybe we could call SSRI's a form of "chemical lobotomy". I had no idea when I filled that first prescription for Zoloft that my daughter could be changed for life-- when I look in the patient information I got, it doesn't mention that either.
Well, Honey started the Zoloft (50mg/day) January of 2006 and continued taking it until July of 2006 when we decided as a family that she seemed more grounded, had some great friends and some better coping skills. Honey was scheduled for a school sports physical so we talked to the doctor then about discontinuing the Zoloft. We were told to "wean off very slowly"... she likes to tell people to cut the dose in half for a few weeks and then take that half dose every other day for a few weeks and then stop taking the medication. I asked (yes, I had to ask) why the dosage should be decreased so slowly and the doctor said that Honey might experience some headaches or nausea. I asked if it would hurt to go a little slower and she said that would be fine, so Honey tapered off Zoloft in 6 weeks- 3 weeks at 25mg and 3 weeks at 25mg every other day and then she was "done". Done that is, until the withdrawal side effects showed up. Those withdrawal side effects are why SSRI's are some of the biggest selling drugs- we buy them not because we want to, but because we HAVE to. Will share in another post.
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