withdrawal symptoms called "return of depression" by doctor

Honey, my daughter was having extreme crying spells, seemed so anxious, unable to fall asleep or stay asleep once she finally did, unable to concentrate or focus on simple tasks, poor appetite and strange and vivid dreams and nightmares. She also later described what we now feel were panic attacks- especially in loud, visually stimulating environments (school, shopping malls). Her symptoms were *different* than the inital symptoms she experienced that led us to medical help. Sure, the symptoms *could* have been considered depression (until one sees the larger picture)
So, still as naive as ever about SSRI antidepressants, we returned to the doctor who originally prescribed Zoloft. The doctor asked Honey (my daughters psuedo name for this blog) about her symptoms, when they "returned" and thought it a good idea to restart the antidepressant. Honey started at 25mg, (though was prescribed 50mg/day) took her first dose that evening and by the next morning her symptoms had improved drastically. The drastic change (for the better) in Honey's symptoms shook me a bit. Antidepressants generally take a few weeks to provide relief of symptoms and 12 hours later, my daughter seemed like a new person. It made me think of a drug user, desperately trying to get a fix and finally.... relief when more of their drug of choice is found. Was my daughter somehow addicted to Zoloft (it is non-addictive so the drug information says!)? Did her body somehow *need* this drug? That was when my search for information began.
Though the crying spells became less frequent and less dramatic once back on the Zoloft, many of the other symptoms remained and the panic attacks became more dramatic.
I started gaining information-- I started to understand that Honey's current symptoms were most likely related to withdrawal rather than "depression". I also started to understand more about the effects of SSRI's on the human brain, emotions and inhibitions.
I also found a someone who had so much experience helping people get off of these medications and go forward to live a "normal" life. Without her, I am not sure where my daughter Honey would be.... mostlikely taking a lot more antidepressants with symptoms only getting worse.
We are still in the midst of a nightmare, but now feel we have the support that our doctor failed to give.
We are working to prepare Honey physically, mentally and spiritually to begin withdrawaling from Zoloft. I wanted to have a place to document the "journey" -- maybe only to have a record for my daughter later on? or maybe someone else will be encouraged or benefitted by her experience. I dont know, but I do know that I felt compelled to write.
It is a hard road, as a parent, to travel. Many nights I would wake from nightmares of suicide. I would hurry to Honey's room, half expecting to find her hanging in her closet or some other nightmare-- always thankful to find her (peacefully?) asleep.
I read of many horror stories of teens on antidepressants full of violence and tragic endings. I cant find yet, a story of a teen no longer using antidepressants with a happy ending. I hope to have one to share. As for now, I know that the hardest might be ahead of us. I constantly think of how much I want to take this trial away from her and wear it on my back instead. What a way to start your life.... brain already scrambled by a drug that was supposed to "help".

In the Beginning

Being a parent is challenging... each stage has its challenges and special joys. Being a mom to my children is a priviledge and an honor and I feel blessed beyond measure.
Being a teen is challenging as well. I remember the ups and downs I experienced years ago. I remember certain painful memories like they happened yesterday. When my daughter (I will call her Honey) came back from a retreat and said "I think I have depression", I had two opposing thoughts- "No, not my daughter!" and "Yes, I bet you do". I had seen the symptoms for a while... a general "blue" attitude, a struggle with school work, crying and crying, and several challenging situations and circumstances that we didn't have seem to have answers for or ways to cope with them.
We as consumers are bombarded with commercials (courtesy of the pharmaceutical companies) about depression, "chemical imbalances" in the brain, so when we experience emotion other than happiness or joy and tell our "doctor" about it, doctors are quick to prescribe an "antidepressant" (because they are bombarded by the pharmaceutical companies and the drug company claims of how wonderful the "new" antidepressants are).
So, my daughter and I (as good sheeple do) went to the doctor to get "help" with my daughter's symptoms. In 10 minutes my daughter was prescribed 50 mg of Zoloft/day. Zoloft has not been approved by the FDA to treat depression. The "doctor" reassured us that it is a gentle drug, not something one can become addicted to... and it will just "level you out". The doctor used a hand motion showing the ups and downs of "depression" (normal human emotion) and then a hand motion that was just a level wave of her hand to show how Zoloft would help "level out" Honey's emotions. Well, her emotions are not just leveled out... they are pretty much gone. She tends to react to much of life with a flat mood. While on the Zoloft, Honey did not experience those crying jags that worried us before.... but she doesn't experience much emotion at all. At least not in a normal way. I asked the "doctor" about counseling and she said "That would be fine, but I think she will really like the Zoloft" or something like that. So, instead of really taking the time to find out WHAT might have been causing Honey's depressive symptoms and taking the time to realize what she was experiencing was something that would have BENEFITTED from counseling, she thanked us for coming and let us know that we would need to check back in within the next couple weeks. NEVER did I hear about the increased risk for suicide, never did I hear about actual SSRI (Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors- a class of antidepressants) side effects (when I asked about side effects, I was told that Honey might experience an occasional headache or stomach ache, but these symptoms would go away once her body got "use to" the medication). How a body gets "use to" SSRI's is another story all together... but in short, your body just changes the structure of your BRAIN as a way of getting "use to" these medications. I think a lobotomy is another treatment that also changes the structure of the brain. Zoloft might be another word for lobotomy.... maybe we could call SSRI's a form of "chemical lobotomy". I had no idea when I filled that first prescription for Zoloft that my daughter could be changed for life-- when I look in the patient information I got, it doesn't mention that either.
Well, Honey started the Zoloft (50mg/day) January of 2006 and continued taking it until July of 2006 when we decided as a family that she seemed more grounded, had some great friends and some better coping skills. Honey was scheduled for a school sports physical so we talked to the doctor then about discontinuing the Zoloft. We were told to "wean off very slowly"... she likes to tell people to cut the dose in half for a few weeks and then take that half dose every other day for a few weeks and then stop taking the medication. I asked (yes, I had to ask) why the dosage should be decreased so slowly and the doctor said that Honey might experience some headaches or nausea. I asked if it would hurt to go a little slower and she said that would be fine, so Honey tapered off Zoloft in 6 weeks- 3 weeks at 25mg and 3 weeks at 25mg every other day and then she was "done". Done that is, until the withdrawal side effects showed up. Those withdrawal side effects are why SSRI's are some of the biggest selling drugs- we buy them not because we want to, but because we HAVE to. Will share in another post.