Honey is feeling irritable

Well, after venting a bit I am feeling better. Stressed as ever, but feeling better.
We have been trapped in the house for a while. Honey did "get out" but only for a couple hours at a time, and has otherwise been trapped here with us. Tootsie (the younger sis) has been here 24/7. Bored out of her mind, though doesn't like any of my ideas. Her boots are at school (school is closed) so she cant get outside. Hoping that we can get in to school tomorrow and get them. The kids have the week off for "Spring" break. Spring is eons away. We are trapped under a fresh 40 inches of snow (most of it received within the past 10 days). So Honey and Tootsie are penned in here together and it is not going well for Honey. Tootsie is driving Honey a literal crazy.
I have noticed that the past few weeks have been more difficult for her (than normal-for-her difficult). Seems to be anxious, more dreams (not happy, fluffy kitty dreams either) and IrRiTaBLe as hell.
I've been cutting these damn pills with a razor and as I mentioned in an earlier post, it just is not working. I feel like I am doing an OK job-- not too far off-- but worried now that the doses have been off just enough to be causing Honey's symptoms. Wednesday's appointment will not get here soon enough.
Wednesdays appointment is keeping my mind so focused on this specific issue. (Getting nurse practitioner to give the rx for the liquid without a fight, without Honey getting upset/without giving Honey any ideas that "she needs this med" or "maybe try a different med" or "Let's increase the Zoloft and see if things get better" etc etc etc. ) I want to go in, present the case, get the script and get the hell out of there. I dont want to present my arsenal. I dont want to have to explain what I know and have her question me, have her question Honey. I dont want her to give excuses for why Honey feels the way she does/did. I dont want to get mad (even though I am p*ssed off). I dont want to say anything I will regret later.
I dont think I/we should have to beg. I dont want to feel like a little kid in there... I always feel like a little kid and the doctor is some wise, all knowing person, that I have to/should trust without question. I dont want this.
I just want this damn drug, so I can poison Honey some more with it.
This is crazy.

Honey went to pick up her prom dress today.
It is beautiful.
She is a beautiful girl.
I wonder if she feels beautiful on the inside anymore.
I dont think she does.
I think that icky ex-asshole of hers took that away.
I wonder if she feels beautiful at all any more.
I brushed her hair this morning.
I felt like I was stroking her soul.
Lately, she has been wanting to brush my hair.
Or play with my hair.
When I ask to do hers, she always has an excuse.
This morning, when I asked, she said, no- it's dirty.
I said, That's okay, mom's dont care about that...
and she let me brush it.
I felt like I was taking care of her again in such a basic way, but it meant more to both of us.